INVISIBLE CELLS Pt.2 2020.

Chapter 4. Endlessly

Often, when Jackie went to bed, Jilly watched old hardcore video and DVD, which was cheaper than surfing porn on the Net. Jackie found sleep difficult, sometimes resurfacing to join Jilly in front the set. Sleeping was easy for Jilly, all she had to do was close her eyes.

Grumbling that they both might be murdered in the night Jackie made ready for her attempt at sleep.

"What are you going to watch tonight, or are you coming to bed?"

"I think I'll put 'Endlessly' on."

"You're always watching that one. What do you like about it?"

"It's so repetitive and mechanical, like sex. It excites me by being predictable."

"I'm glad you're staying up, you can listen out for any funny business. If I can't sleep I might join you later, I don't want to watch porn though."

"You don't like any of my films, do you?"

"I don't mind the one based on Pythagorus. I think there might be something to ponder! All the people in them, though, must have got Aids, no one wears a condom, that's more obscene than the obscenities. It's not make believe, what you see, happens. It is obscene..... unless they do it for pleasure, and have calculated the consequences, like mountain-climbers."

"We're back to the pursuit of happiness again. What if they do it for money? It's not pleasure which is crucial, but freedom of choice: a complicated one. If all the people in these films are dead, at least I make something of their lives. At least I remember them, they live in my imagination, or is it, fancy?"

"Definitely, 'fancy'. Anyway, I'm lapsing, I'm not talking about obscenity, I'm talking about what I don't like. I'm too tired to remember what progress I made today. A night's sleep and it will all be gone."

Jackie went to bed. Jilly pressed the play button.

'Endlessly' opened with a long shot of a sandy beach on a still, hot day. A lone, single figure, female, lay, belly down, on the sand. The camera swooped in, like a bird of prey, caressing the figure with its looking. The female looked young, was drenched in tan and had short, thick, unfussed, fair hair. After the body, the camera played on the face. Beads of sweat ran on the brow and the upper lip glistened. One eye was open, searching the heat haze at the extremities of the sand. Teasingly, the abstract haze materialised, first into a shimmering black blob and then three figures sauntering towards the eye, who, on registering their presence, shifted her bikini-clad body a fraction and ejected her tongue to lick her lips. The camera began exploring the approaching group, one by one, this time face first. There were two males and one female. The female reminded Jilly of an old movie actress, Natalie Wood, to whom, and much to her own surprise, she had felt attracted, seeing her in a film about wife swapping. One of the males was black, the other white but very male, covered in dark, "macho" hair. These were the values, the film did not ask Jilly to look more closely, in fact the waxy quality of the video prevented it.

The white guy came over to speak to the separate "pussy", sitting next to her. They both watched the others, who started teasing each other, which led them to wrestling. The Natalie Wood girl was topless, so, when wrestling, her "pert" breasts leapt around. Quickly, she won the wrestle and knelt triumphantly over the black calling out to the other girl to remove her top. Compliantly she did, and the camera lingered. The guys were seen looking too, eyes like sizzling lasers. The girls then, forwardly, demanded equality. Jilly felt glad they had. The guys stood up, the shot emphasised their size. They slipped out of their swim gear. Jilly felt a little shy now and so seemed the girls in the film, their eyes averted to concentrate on a red sail being hoisted on the horizon, but out of the corner of all their eyes they took in what was to be seen. The chatty guy was very well-hung and so hairy down there it was bestial. The black was also a "revelation", great, dark plums and the thickest, shiniest aubergine in the hypermarket.

Next it was the guys' turn to feel shy and to cover their shyness they threw themselves on the girls in mock wrestling. The director liked these traces of vulnerability; this was porn for a mixed audience. The fair girl protested but her eyes were gleeful. The girls suffered their bikini bottoms being pulled off. The film broke into pointed dialogue. The guys reckoned the fair girl really wanted it, which the audience already seemed to know. They agreed to find out if she was ready. They pulled her legs apart and everyone could see she had a lovely, little muff. The white guy inserted a finger, apparently she was as slippery as baby oil and there were sound effects to convince you. The guys pulled her into a position on all fours, her bottom sticking up into the air. She smiled, actually smiled!"

The white guy knelt behind her, his large hands intimidating her prominent buttocks. The black knelt in front. By now both had "fine", frightening hard-ons. The process from long, "jelly-roll" to erection was not on camera. The white really was a beast, and the black's aubergine had turned into a twelve inch, dark banana. The "beast" eased his tool into the fair girl's "cunt-hole". It was at this point you knew you were watching hardcore. The focus switched to the girl's face, you could see how stirred she was as she was stretched. From face to cunt, face to cunt, and the knob continued to go in, bit by bit, until no one could believe how far. The head of the cock started knocking her up inside and the big hand was between the legs playing on the cord. The cock started up an easy comfortable rocking, up and down her gulping cunt, the hand frisked the clit' until the beast just wanked her, crudely. Jilly had seen the film many times before, so she knew how far 'Endlessly' would go, but the naive viewer would further reel discovering the infinitely regressive shocks of ultimate limits.

The black still knelt in front and still in shot, started to get in on the action. He cupped her tits. He took them in his hands and started swinging her about. The camera returned to her face. The expressive content was conveyed by artifice. The fair girl became quite dizzy at the thought of the hands groping her being black, her big eyes looking up in disbelief at the ebony torso towering over her. Next the black started edging the monster banana towards her lips.

She showed reluctance, as though what was suggested was an enormity, both physically and psychologically. However, the seductive lever was the way she lusted for the strokes of the cock which fucked her from behind. To overcome the theatrical reluctance, the other girl, on all fours, came up to the fair girl and pushed her face between the pouty little mouth and the monster banana. The Natalie Wood look-alike gave the fair girl a little kiss on the mouth, then pressed her tongue through the lips to explore the teeth. From here she switched her attention to the black erection. She kissed it, then back to kiss the fair girl, setting up a continuous link from mouth to prick.

The banana received a lick, then the lips. Next a bigger lick, followed by a French kiss, the tongues touched, visible on camera. Extraordinarily, the Natalie girl pulled down the back foreskin, like peeling a dark banana, the black cock then received a big lick. The black grunted like a gorilla. From this big lick it was back to the mouth with its sweat and a little, golden down on the upper lip. This time the tonguing was deep. The fair girl now realised, despite herself, she was initiated, she had tasted a BLACK, a taboo was broken. She whimpered, "Never before!" This was a film for white women who fancied blacks, it was a film for men who could not believe women were as wanton as they appeared to be.

The outcome was inevitable and predictable, but those who had watched this far wanted to see. The fair girl became hungry for the taste. The audience watched her concentrating on beads of juice collected on the head of the black prick. Once again the other girl intervened, her mouth opened wide she sucked on what had already been coveted. Quickly she pulled her head away and gave the other girl a wicked smile. The beads of juice reappeared. The black edged towards the lips once more. The unthinkable, the fair girl, symbol of purity, with a cock already up her, gave the banana a tiny kiss, a little compliance. The black realised the nature of the watershed and this time emitted a noise which filled the beach. Encouraged he put it very close. She tried a lick and began to get a taste for it. Eyes rolling, she absorbed his black-muscular-torso and the fierce eagerness in his face. If they were all pretending they were all very good at it, but, of course, they were not, everyone was smelling of sex, stars as well as punters. That people would only do these things if, off camera, a gun was pointing at them or, if cash in the hand promised temporary respite from poverty and/or a drug habit, took no account of some people enjoying exhibiting themselves in the act, women in particular as some had confided to Jilly. Hardcore had its bleaker facts but so did Jesus cults.

The rear entry stud gave her a hard shake which made her open her legs further and arch her back like the pussy she was. The black started pulling down hard on her tits making them feel and look very long. Under this assault she started emitting strange sounds, some of which sounded like 'Tiamat' to Jilly's ears. The girl formed her mouth into a 'perfect O', then gave the black a 'demonic grin'. At this invitation he slipped the threatening monolith into her mouth. She licked him and sucked him and he grunted and growled and pulled it to and fro. Her inhibitions down she grabbed his big plums squeezing him hard and sucking down on his cock. The other 'whore' moved to stand astride the arched back, she pushed her dark muff against the black's mouth. He poked his tongue into the cunt, exciting it and through its ripples the girl herself, sending her whole body 'trembling with passion'. The mike concentrated on her squelching with desire, then, like preceding editing, it switched to the other cunt, full with its cock. Everything started to build, like the climax of globo-rock.

The white guy was roaring, the black beat his chest with his free fist, both girls let out continuous high pitched shrieks. Sometimes words were spoken, clearly dubbed, "You bit of cunt, you tart", "You bastard dicks what you make me do". The macho white slapped Natalie across the ass and then Heidi, both girls' excitement seemed heightened by the pain. The white macho stuck a finger into Natalie's cunt, she started coming. Her domino effect set off the white dick in the golden cunt, it started shooting, like liquid soap from its brimming dispenser, withdrawn at the last possible moment, dispelling allegations of art. Then the black, calling out "You blonde tart!" expanding his tool's girth until she hardly contained it, creaming the dark banana. Finally the angel blonde went into a shaking trance, screaming "Cover me with spunk!"

Dissolved. Then it was the afterwards. All lying out exhausted. The tide advanced, slowly washing around a lifeless weight of limbs. Later, the trio, black muff, negro, bull man, wandering away down the strands of wet sand. The golden angel climbed into the bikini and squatted, chin on knees, watching a sun sinking and the boat with a red sail approaching her shore. The video did not say 'The end' but 'to be continued, don't miss Pythagorus!'

Jilly resurfaced in the real world. She sensed her cheeks were burning. She knew women deceived themselves about their interest in porn. Often they would express boredom or disgust but their vaginal secretions told a different story when they allowed sex scientists to investigate... which so many of them did allow. Jilly was aware porn was addictive. A strange addiction. You always wanted more and for it to go further, this was its promise, forever broken, but, each time there was the prospect of some sublime climax from a new beginning. When you'd almost had enough 'Pythagorus' gave porn philosophical distance. Jilly ejected 'Endlessly' and inserted 'Pythagorus'.

Chapter 6. 'Reveries du Promeneur Solitaire'

If her father, Roddy, was to be believed, love of walking by oneself was in the genes. "What was it called?" Often, these days Jackie had to prompt herself. "Reveries du Promeneur Solitaire."

The undercliff path between Saltdean and Brighton was a favourite walk. Not easy to get to from the mobile. You had to pass the dreary collection of small businesses and domestic bungalows which made up Peacehaven, a long string of a walk. The undercliff path itself was variable, sometimes impassable because of rock falls and unstable privatisations. The walk back was along the grass at the top of the cliff. "Hardly the Alps!" She rarely felt threatened taking this walk.

The sun was strong on the sea and chalk and her thoughts returned to her sister's pornographic interests. Jilly seemed to prefer sex on screen. Jackie acknowledged an allure. You could watch it as you fucked. The screen preserved distance in some way. She had once been taken to a boxing tournament. She thought she would like it because she watched boxing on television, but she fainted, just walking in to take her seat. She could not conceive of her arousal at a mass orgy, like the one in "Pythagorus". Others, she conceded, were constitutionally different.

Once, she had dreamt of belonging to a group of pyromaniacs. The group was hung up on the idea of setting fire people. In the dream she helped pour petrol over a young lad in a white t-shirt and bright, blue jeans. Someone else put the match to him. The dream then turned to nightmare. Excitement evaporated like the petrol and with the fire panic set in, profound regret, almost "Father forgive me, I knew not what I dreamt".

The autonomy of the powerless was what worked on her most deeply. Worms could turn. With slyness the weakest could kill the strongest, but at the point of killing the murderer ceased to be powerless. Many murderers confessed to experiencing a delirium of powerfulness overtaking them in the act. It was the autonomy of the empowered she had to oppose: no one was powerless by definition. Potentially everyone might need opposing. Anyone could be one's enemy. Her theorising to achieve philosophical exactness would transcend class, despite class being the reality of powerlessness.

However, was she condemning the powerless to their powerlessness? Was she saying "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the kingdom of God”? Her mind turned to the Marquis de Sade. She recalled reading "Justine". She had been both bored and amazed by it. The story and its moral debate had not interested her, but its form and bravura were revelatory. To have brought together pornography and serious, moral enquiry was a beginning. Sex was a good instance of power relations. It could symbolise the social universe. In "Justine" the powerful did as they liked without the disguise of morality: a woman could be killed simply because someone wanted to test a new pistol. You needed to open yourself to the temptations and corruption of values to think this through.

There was a strong wind against her, but, undeterred, Jackie headed into it, pulling her woolly cap down over her ears.

In Sade, morality was the victim's defence, sometimes an intervening destiny, but Jackie wanted none of that. Victims did not have right on their side, they just had their own interest. Pornography could be benign, but setting fire to people for kicks turned her stomach, inside out. There was no need to deny the attractions of illusory murder and rape; illusions were not reality, except as illusions. The line between illusion and a ruptured intestine was drawn by the seizing of power and, because it took all types there were those blind to the distinction. Not necessarily blind though. She had heard psychos tell how they threw up every time they dissected corpses in their efforts to prolong their way of life and to remove the evidence of their crimes.

Properly conceived, the powerless had no need of power for the realisation of extreme desire, in which case the removal of moral constraint did not pose a problem. Jilly had told Jackie many stories of how by living inside her head, in an invisible cell, she had lived with the extremes of powerlessness. Jilly understood instinctively what Jackie wrestled to understand intellectually. This was why discussion between them was so easy.

On her way back, along the rim, with the wind behind her, Jackie encouraged herself to rethink Jilly's youth. Such thinking would be by way of illustration, parable like. She was shaping up to exploit the biblical model. Would she be punished for this?

(Copyright theasif.info 2008)